Dr. Bill Sears and Martha Sears, R.N., are renowned parenting experts with plenty of firsthand experience gained from their own eight children, ages 6 to 31 years. Bill and Martha are best known for their seven most recent books, The Pregnancy Book, The Birth Book, The Baby Book, The Discipline Book, Parenting the Fussy Baby, The A.D.D. Book, and The Breastfeeding Book.

Dr. Bill is the Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at the University of California Irvine School of Medicine. A pediatrician for 26 years, he currently lives and practices in San Clemente, California. He received his pediatric training in Harvard Medical School's Children's Hospital in Boston and the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, the largest children's hospital in the world. Dr. Sears is a fellow of both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Royal College of Pediatricians. Dr.Sears' newly published book The Breastfeeding Book : Everything You Need to Know About Nursing Your Child from Birth Through Weaning is an encyclopedic guide for nursing mothers. This book contains comprehensive information about the benefits of breastfeeding for mother and child and is considered a "must have" by readers.

Martha Sears is a childbirth educator and an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. She is a popular speaker among parenting organizations, such as La Leche League International, of which she has been a member for nearly 20 years. She currently works as a breastfeeding and parenting consultant in San Clemente.

Dr. Bill and Martha Sears have made guest appearances on more than 100 television shows, including the Today Show, Oprah, Dateline and 20/20. The couple also contribute regularly to many national magazines such as Baby Talk, Parenting Magazine and Redbook.

Q The problem is our toddler. He is such a handful! I cannot take him out in public because of constant temper tantrums. If I don't put him in the stroller, he refuses to hold my hand or stay with me. If I put him in the stroller, he screams and struggles without stop. If I carry him, I am quickly worn out, because he continues to struggle.
When I get things for him at home, he suddenly doesn't want them anymore. For instance, juice; he'll pour it out, then wants more. I don't give in, but then it's more screaming and crying. He doesn't sleep well and can't put himself to sleep. I must hold him to sleep. Regardless of where he sleeps, he wakes up at least twice during the night, and often, more than that.
He still experiences severe separation anxiety during my brief absences. The only thing that has gone relatively smoothly since he was born was potty training! I maintain a positive demeanor and attitude around him, but I'm at a complete loss as to how to deal with these aspects of his personality. I'm exhausted and frustrated.
Advice?

A Sounds like your three-year-old is going through a stage of separation anxiety and extreme negativity. Start with some daytime discipline, and perhaps that will carry over into some nighttime peacefulness. Read The Discipline Book, where you will find helpful information on overcoming negativity.
Here are some additional ways you can foster more cooperation during the day. When you're going out, say shopping, explain to your toddler the behavior you expect -- that you expect a "yes" answer when you ask him to do something. Tell him what's going to happen during the day, so that he knows the daily plan. Create a reward chart. He gets a sticker on the chart for a yes or cooperation. After a day of yeses, he gets a social reward. Your goal is to teach him that his life will be easier and happier when he has a yes day.
Give him jobs around the house, so that he feels important and develops a sense of responsibility -- and appropriately praise him for jobs well done. Bright, creative children become more positive when they're given jobs to do.
Also try a nighttime reward chart. When he "puts himself back to sleep," he gets a sticker on his chart. Eventually you can stop the reward charts, as the positive attitude from his cooperation becomes its own reward.